Her tears
were like magnets
yanking my bone dry tongue
past smoke-yellowed enamel crags.
And she asked,
“What do you think is the meaning of life—
the reason for all this frustration and strife?”
And I said, “To hurt without hurting;
to sustain unsustainable love.”
“That makes no sense!” she cried.
I said, “I know—
it’s called a paradox.
And that’s the only sort of answer
we can hope for in this world.”
And then
to squelch
the lump in my own throat
I pulled her closer—
as close as we could get.
And as the air between us shallowed,
so did the skin,
and our skulls sounded off
the wonton mating calls
of manicured finger nails
and dusty chalkboards
And our foreheads sweat one sweat.
And our vessels bled one blood.
“Maybe,” she said,
“This is it—
just being together—
the meaning of life, I mean.”
“Tandem emoting,”
I quipped against her lips.
And in such proximity
I could feel, hear, see her breath:
her exhalations scented like
exhausted bubblegum.
And I wanted to chew her cheeks off
and burrow into her—
into her blackness,
and later I did.
And later, when eyes were dry
and wet panties were crumpled
on the floor,
I stared into
the photographic irises of idols on my wall.
I tried to
remember what it felt like back when I was worth anything at all.
I listened
for the absent summons of a reliable future.
And I wondered what
sadistic property of fate or physics has frozen
her potential
in this igloo of my
failure-stained sheets
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